In modern society there is a lovely shameful quote that people like to use. "Blood is thicker than water." Which refers to, family first, all else second. And by family, they mean blood relations, the people whom share your genetic material. But this quote is grossly inaccurate and used incorrectly. And it is one of the few things in life that brings my anger to an overflowing boil in under three seconds flat.
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Is the actual saying. And it means the complete opposite of what shamers use it for today. The blood of your comrades is a tighter bond than those of your family. In other words, the bonds YOU CHOOSE to have, hold more power than the bonds you are born in to. This can mean anything from soldiers on a battle field to people in a group creating a blood oath, to the friends whom you've chosen to be your family; your tribe.
The point is, being born into something does not make you entitled to anything. A personal example, which is something that I have been struggling with over the last four years...you do not owe your family anything just because your genetic code has similarities. And you are completely allowed to choose your own family in life if the one you were brought into is no good. If your family uses this saying, it is a means of control and power to get you to do something they want, but you don't want to.
Do not feel guilty or ashamed for separating yourself from toxic people even if they are "family". They don't even have to be toxic, it is your right to SAY NO to your genetic relatives. Your number one concern in life is YOUR well being. The greatest way for us to benefit society is if we are first at peace and happy with ourselves and our lives. Goodness towards others happens in greater magnitude when we express SELF-CARE. We have more to give when we are taken care of.
Our society likes to shame people for all of the above things. And I am here to tell you, it's ok, to look after yourself and look after your mental, physical and spiritual health. It is not selfish. You deserve the best. You owe it to yourself, so do it. Do not let anyone try and guilt trip you if they don't like a decision you made. That is their problem, not yours.
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Is the actual saying. And it means the complete opposite of what shamers use it for today. The blood of your comrades is a tighter bond than those of your family. In other words, the bonds YOU CHOOSE to have, hold more power than the bonds you are born in to. This can mean anything from soldiers on a battle field to people in a group creating a blood oath, to the friends whom you've chosen to be your family; your tribe.
The point is, being born into something does not make you entitled to anything. A personal example, which is something that I have been struggling with over the last four years...you do not owe your family anything just because your genetic code has similarities. And you are completely allowed to choose your own family in life if the one you were brought into is no good. If your family uses this saying, it is a means of control and power to get you to do something they want, but you don't want to.
Do not feel guilty or ashamed for separating yourself from toxic people even if they are "family". They don't even have to be toxic, it is your right to SAY NO to your genetic relatives. Your number one concern in life is YOUR well being. The greatest way for us to benefit society is if we are first at peace and happy with ourselves and our lives. Goodness towards others happens in greater magnitude when we express SELF-CARE. We have more to give when we are taken care of.
Our society likes to shame people for all of the above things. And I am here to tell you, it's ok, to look after yourself and look after your mental, physical and spiritual health. It is not selfish. You deserve the best. You owe it to yourself, so do it. Do not let anyone try and guilt trip you if they don't like a decision you made. That is their problem, not yours.
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