Njordrs Nook

We have certain societal programmings that we need to break. One of those is "Don't get involved" or "Mind your business".

Here is my FB post from last night:

"My PSA for the evening. When you hear people fighting. Linger. Be fucking nosey. Make sure what you're hearing is just a fight and not domestic violence. I had to call 911 tonight for overhearing a heated argument and then the sound of the man hitting the woman and her crying. I pray to the Gods that the cops took him away because he would not keep his hands off her and would not leave the house. Had I minded my own business and kept walking, I would not have heard him hit her. Please, fight that societal programming that says "don't get involved". Get involved. Save a fucking life."

I cannot stress how important it is to LINGER. We live in a very violent world and a lot of it goes unnoticed and unreported because people do nothing. We need to change this. Our world is so desensitized to violence that the Police tell you to scream "Fire" instead of calling for help because a lot of times you will be ignored. Let that sink in for a minute. PEOPLE ARE SO USED TO HEARING SOMEONE CALL FOR HELP THAT THEY WILL IGNORE YOU. This is not okay. If you are unsure if what you're hearing is domestic violence or just a fight, call 911 anyways. Let the cops show up and handle the situation.

Being involved in violence is a traumatizing experience. The sound of a man hitting a woman is something I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing. It's all I've been able to think about and I certainly did not get any sleep last night. I'm exhausted. BUT, knowing that I stepped in and did something, that I stopped the violence, even for just that night...I will gladly bear the burden of that trauma. And I will do it over and over again should I happen upon those circumstances.

One thing I've been doing to try and ease my mind and cope, is research. Get the facts, get the stats.

FACT: Domestic violence calls are high priority. If you fear for your safety or a loved one, the police will be there in minutes. Why? Because they know the stats.

FACT: Domestic violence calls are some of the most dangerous calls a police officer will face in their career.

STATS:

• Intimate Partner violence was the number 1 cause of violence against women in 2016
• More than 93,000 incidents were reported in 2016 and 8 out of 10 victims were female
• 67% of female victims were abused by CURRENT dating partners or spouses
• Of the cases that resulted in homicide, 79% of the victims were female
• 80% of domestic violence cases involve physical force and/or a weapon
• 50% of reported cases involve some form of physical injury to the victim
• APPROX. EVERY 6 DAYS A WOMAN IS KILLED BY HER INTIMATE PARTNER

We need to do better. We need to be better. Save a fucking life. 

Citations:

http://www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/en/news/2016/25/responding-domestic-and-intimate-partner-violence

https://www.solgps.alberta.ca/safe_communities/community_awareness/family_violence/Publications/DomesticViolencePoliceGuidelines.pdf

https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2018001/article/54893/03-eng.htm

https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2018001/article/54893/tbl/tbl3.4-eng.htm

https://www.canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/

Earlier in the year, I created a motto to help me protect and process the shit energy that people project on me. "Not My Karma." This phrase was a way for me to detach myself personally from attacks of those around me. That motto has slowly evolved this year into: "If you don't like my mirror, change the reflection."

What that means is, when people project certain energy on you, for no reason at all, it just came out, it often has nothing to do with you at all. People project onto others what they don't like in themselves. It is a reflection of their self-talk and nothing to do with you. I have taken up this motto as way to no longer accept mistreatment and disrespect from anyone. I will show you your true self and you're not going to like it.

When I worked in the fast food industry I came across this a lot. People getting angry cause the food took too long, but in reality the meal was ready in 3min. They couldn't be bothered to wait. That energy is not your problem. It has nothing to do with how you can do the job, and you're no less qualified to serve them just because you didn't meet the customers standards of haste.

So what my motto means is this, no longer will I allow to let that energy flow over me and let it pass like water. Instead, I will stop that energy in its tracks by holding up a mirror. If you're going to speak to me that way, you can look at yourself when you do it, because that is the real problem. Making people face themselves is very hard and dramatic work. As people are prone to defensiveness when you illuminate their not-so-nice qualities that they keep hidden. Maybe they were unaware that they were even there.

This path is only for the courageous and the ones that can persevere. And you had better know yourself inside and out because it is a lonely and ostracizing road. You need the thickest of skins to travel it because you will get shit on everywhere you go and by people whom you cared about. But the most important part, if you find yourself on this path, a lot of Lokeans do, which is not one of choice, but duty, stay true to yourself. Respect yourself. Care for yourself. Think highly of yourself. That reflection is not yours to bear.

Ummmm. No. Lol.

It is a well known fact in Heathenry that worth is very important. You are judged by your deeds, and those deeds determine your worth in the eyes of your people.

It is a double edged sword.

Despite the best intentions of Heathens to have some sort of merit system to judge its people by, nobody, and I mean nobody, can tell you what you're worth except for you. And you don't have to prove a damn thing if they are too blind to see it. With rampant mental illnesses like depression, the question of ones' worth can be a horrible beast.

If you have self-worth, that is all you need. You do not need to seek the acceptance or praise from your community. You do you. The way you always have. If you happen to be appreciated by your community, awesome, that is a huge plus. If they happen to chop off your head and shit down your neck, there's really nothing you can do about it. The only control you have in a situation like that is how you react to being mistreated by your people when you feel it is undeserved.

And it will happen. Maybe once, maybe dozens of times. No matter how wonderful the people you find may be, we are all still hopelessly flawed human beings subjected to world views based on the biases we've established from our own life experience, despite our best intentions to be open minded.

Don't let that get you down. You have worth. If you tried your best and failed. Redirect your energy somewhere else, or look for a new angle in which to attain your goals. If others are incapable of seeing your worth and what you can do, that's their problem. And maybe they don't deserve you.

Remember, the manner in which you are being judged, you can also use that to your benefit to judge in return. There are two points on the sword, if you feel you're being stabbed with one end, push back.

For example. When you go to a job interview, a lot of people feel stressed because the interviewer is judging to see if you'll be a good fit for their company and maybe you really want the job. Do not forget, that you are also there to judge and see if your boss-to-be is the kind of person who deserves your best effort.

Double. Edged. Sword. Remember, judgement goes both ways. In the end, the question should not be, am I worthy? The answer is yes, you are. The real question you should be asking is, are they worthy enough to have me? Life gets a whole lot simpler when you are able to answer that question.

The structure of our society is ass backwards to put it politely. I would like to address the concept of celebrating and bragging about your successes. You see, the world we live in not only advises against this (due to Christian baggage of vanity) but it also shames people for doing so.